3 more days and it will be Valentine’s Day. Haha, if I was writing an online journal like this one 2 years ago, I would actually make all the harshest and cruel remark on Valentine’s Day. Well, giving that 2 years ago I had the heartbreak of the century, you would need to understand my condition.
No, I am not having a date this Valentine’s Day. rofl. In fact, I will be working this Valentine’s Day (double pay man, woo-hoo). But, I have to be prepare of what I am expected to see; couples. Yeah. Although 2 years already gone and a heart is healed, but who says there is no scar. There is always these feelings of xian mu or heavy feeling when I see couples. A short sense of feeling that I feel kinda alone.
About a week ago, I actually unexpectedly chatted with my ex-love through MSN. Who? Well, its for me to know, for you to find out. We didn’t keep in touch for 2 years since she broke with me. I was not sure of wanting to add her and chat with her at first because I’m afraid of awkwardness, when she send the invitation, but I felt I better be a gentleman and accept it. We talk and talked about studies, friends, howyadoing that kind of stuffs until she finally asked the question that she intended to ask all along:
her: btw, just out of concern, did i leave u scarred?
she repeated: in f5, b4 we all went our separate ways, did i scar u in any way?
me: yea, haha, i got a heartbreak
me again: but, im ok now
And really, I’m ok now. Got through it for sure, I guess time and God did a great job healing me. Not really feeling the miserable-heart-sour feelings I got 2 years ago anymore. Near the end of our conversation, I wish her all the best in life and hope that she finds a nice guy later in her life.
Back to the main point, after through this experience, I am not really that anxious anymore to jump into love. Yes, there is these feelings of xian mu(s) but its only for temporary. And I don’t think I want to celebrate or make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day when I am dating (I think sometime in the distance future, certainly not this near future). It’s a death anniversary of a Roman priest anyway. I don’t think I want to celebrate someone’s death anniversary by making it a loveday with my love one. Its rather ironic and stupid. Before 2 years ago, I always wanting to go out dating on Valentine’s Day and arrange surprising plans for us (me & ex) both. But know, I smirk at the idea of celebrating it.
The problem is, this death anniversary is too much commercialised. The day itself, florists could earn a month’s profit in 1 day. Restaurants full of love-birds and introducing promotions that are actually sucking cash out of wallets and purses. Jewellery stores earning the extras. Chocolates selling like the latest hot best-seller novel.
No, thank you. Phew. I am glad I am single (not making it available yet) and clinching on my wallet tightly from florists and greedy restaurant owners. I will pass Valentine’s Day even when I am in love in the future. There are other more important dates and memorable occasions to make a love-date special than 1 person’s death anniversary. If anyone ask me out on that day, I’ll pass. Even if friends want to have a gathering on that day, no thanks, I’ll pass. I will be earning money. I am not celebrating Valentine’s Day ever.
Shouldn’t I post this password protected? lmao. Anyway, for those who do celebrate Valentine’s, I hope your day will be splendid.
