WHY!! Why am I addicted to this game?

This is Utopia, a multi-player browser game. It does not have cool cool graphics, fancy characters but what I don’t get is this: Why am I addicted to it?? Currently this age I end up in kingdom 6:1 and I am The Legendary S. And, of cause you can’t see the browser, I cropped it out. Continuing, I am playing in the same kingdom with Chin Ngan. Haih…

I played a lot of games. You name it, CS, DoTA, RA2, Ragnarok and many many more. But I can quit those games easily. But this is one game I can’t quit. Usually I just log in once per day and end up playing in it for 2 to 3 hours. I am trying to beat this addiction. Wish me luck

Ironic Day

3 more days and it will be Valentine’s Day. Haha, if I was writing an online journal like this one 2 years ago, I would actually make all the harshest and cruel remark on Valentine’s Day. Well, giving that 2 years ago I had the heartbreak of the century, you would need to understand my condition.

No, I am not having a date this Valentine’s Day. rofl. In fact, I will be working this Valentine’s Day (double pay man, woo-hoo). But, I have to be prepare of what I am expected to see; couples. Yeah. Although 2 years already gone and a heart is healed, but who says there is no scar. There is always these feelings of xian mu or heavy feeling when I see couples. A short sense of feeling that I feel kinda alone.

About a week ago, I actually unexpectedly chatted with my ex-love through MSN. Who? Well, its for me to know, for you to find out. We didn’t keep in touch for 2 years since she broke with me. I was not sure of wanting to add her and chat with her at first because I’m afraid of awkwardness, when she send the invitation, but I felt I better be a gentleman and accept it. We talk and talked about studies, friends, howyadoing that kind of stuffs until she finally asked the question that she intended to ask all along:

her: btw, just out of concern, did i leave u scarred?

she repeated: in f5, b4 we all went our separate ways, did i scar u in any way?

me: yea, haha, i got a heartbreak

me again: but, im ok now

And really, I’m ok now. Got through it for sure, I guess time and God did a great job healing me. Not really feeling the miserable-heart-sour feelings I got 2 years ago anymore. Near the end of our conversation, I wish her all the best in life and hope that she finds a nice guy later in her life.

Back to the main point, after through this experience, I am not really that anxious anymore to jump into love. Yes, there is these feelings of xian mu(s) but its only for temporary. And I don’t think I want to celebrate or make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day when I am dating (I think sometime in the distance future, certainly not this near future). It’s a death anniversary of a Roman priest anyway. I don’t think I want to celebrate someone’s death anniversary by making it a loveday with my love one. Its rather ironic and stupid. Before 2 years ago, I always wanting to go out dating on Valentine’s Day and arrange surprising plans for us (me & ex) both. But know, I smirk at the idea of celebrating it.

The problem is, this death anniversary is too much commercialised. The day itself, florists could earn a month’s profit in 1 day. Restaurants full of love-birds and introducing promotions that are actually sucking cash out of wallets and purses. Jewellery stores earning the extras. Chocolates selling like the latest hot best-seller novel.

No, thank you.  Phew. I am glad I am single (not making it available yet) and clinching on my wallet tightly from florists and greedy restaurant owners. I will pass Valentine’s Day even when I am in love in the future. There are other more important dates and memorable occasions to make a love-date special than 1 person’s death anniversary. If anyone ask me out on that day, I’ll pass. Even if friends want to have a gathering on that day, no thanks, I’ll pass. I will be earning money. I am not celebrating Valentine’s Day ever.

Shouldn’t I post this password protected? lmao. Anyway, for those who do celebrate Valentine’s, I hope your day will be splendid.

Choices… Decisions That Influence One’s (My) Future, Student’s Dilemma

So I happen to be looking at my online public university application. Filled 5 out of 9 sections of the application form. Then I came to the 6th section. I got stuck.

8 spaces with 8 scroll-downs. A lot of thoughts struck my head. Making choices like this aren’t easy. I wish I have the confidence to just select any and will be offer my first choice. Getting into public U will certainly lessen the financial burden that my family and I carry. I don’t come from a rich family. Just in the middle between poor and rich. My dad, the only person earning money into our house has to feed 5 mouths.

I want to be given a course according to my 8 choices. Not a random selected course because I selected the wrong one. A lot of public Us listed, quite overwhelming from UTM to Unimas. I’m scared I would select the wrong one, meaning one that will certainly not accept me. For example, UiTM (remembering the street demonstration the Malay students did months ago about not letting non-bumiputras into their U) and UIAM (for obvious reason that I am not Islam); I don’t want to waste my options. Another thing is from what I’ve heard on the streets from people who said this U not good, that U not good. What if got into one and come out with an unrecognised degree and ultimately can’t be employed? Thinking of it itself gives me goose bumps.

Another is about the courses itself. Should I put all 8 sciences choices that I want? I was thinking putting top 4 on science and the bottom 4 on Art choices. As in top 4 Engineering and bottom 4 Architecture. But, those Us who offered Engineering is a lot, enough to fill all 8. I don’t know. What are my chances if I do so? With my qualification *shaking head* that I’m not so positive about, my chances may be as much as many beggars out there. Besides, from what I’ve heard the ministry gives chances to those graduated from Matriculation FIRST then look at STPMers. We need to freaking compete with Matric students whose syllabuses are light-years away from hard. Unlike STPM.

Hard choices really. I googled those Universities’ names. Look at their websites and browse for credentials. The problem is there is no website that says ‘Don’t go to this U, it sucks because of …‘ or else it will make my choices easier. Every website is inviting. One of my seniors did say to consult seniors for advices. Well, I don’t see any seniors lying about at the moment. If I do see one (online at least), I will certainly not wait for inquiring. Looking at the courses’ requirement struck my heart out. Certainly are high requirements.

What other options do I have besides Public U? Well there are scholarships. Lots of them. Of course, I will apply for them no matter what results I get for my STPM. There are Shell, JPA scholarship for studying in Malaysia. Apart for that, I could enter private U with loan from PTPTN or Yayasan Sarawak, a loan that is a lot.

I have time till 1 week after STPM result is announced to make my head. For now, I think I want to rest and put this aside for awhile. Clear my head for awhile. Research more into this matter. Then make up a wiser decision, which hopefully, may yield optimum results.

Protected: These Drama Soaps on TV I hate

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What A Wet-tastic Way to Usher CNY

Flood… Flood, Flood. Yes, I spent my Chinese New Year through rains and floods.

The story is like this, my whole family went back to Sibu to visit my Grandma for the Holiday. We went back last Saturday, had reunion dinner. Luckily, there is no flood on the first day of new year. But there is rain, rain and rain. There is no one day there is no rain. Visited relatives’ house, got ang pau’s visited couple of Sibu’s Parks. The rest of time, I spend it in Grandma’s small old small wooden house watching TV, eating, sleeping and watching the sky.

But… when on the 5th day of CNY the water keep filling the only road out. On the 5th night, the water came in to full rise and swollen near to half of my car.

the red wira is my car

My father jacked up the car front to avoid the engine from drowning. At 3am the water risen to waist height. On the 6th day, the water was slowly receding but in a very slow rate. Well, my uncle came and help us push the car out. That time the water was ankle height. My whole family spent the night in my uncle’s house and on the 7th day (yesterday) we journey back.

We all endured the soggy smelly seats as the water got into our car. For 6 hours all the way from Sibu to Kuching.

Well, Happy New Year.